Assalamualaikum..its has been such a long period i didn't update this blog..today i just want to share something that had happen with myself. it was about my pregnancy..every women would be happy on their first pregnancy..so do I..it was so wonderful moment in my life which is in 2015..i was in my final semester in MSc Housing (USM)..as a part time student, alhamdulillah I can manage between study, family and working..my due date suppose to be in April 2016 (can't remember the exact date, around 13th april maybe)..
but all the happiness and all my hopes at that time was gone..GONE!! Allah had taken back my lovely daughter when she was 32weeks in my my tummy..ALLAHUAKBAR..no one knows my feeling at that time..no one can understand what i was thinking about..no one can make me smile anymore at the moment..NO ONE..everyone trying to comfort n motivate me but i keep crying day by day..yes, i feel ashamed to ALLAH, i'm so weak..i never be as weak as what i had going through now.. this is the biggest test in my life..please forgive me ya Allah coz being so down n keep questioning for the test that u had given..i'm not a good servants..at the age of 26, i need to go through all this and for me it is not fair (stupid thought)..i keep asking why me??why my other friends can enjoy their wonderful moment of being a mother and raise up their children?WHY WHY WHY?i can't think rationally at that time..not just that, the most saddest moment is i had to go through confinement period without my baby..
to be continued...insya ALLAH, when i have a strength to write again..
